Raising Beth
by HaNnAh Stokes
Summary: "Hey Noah, can we talk?" A very pregnant Quinn Fabray asked me. What if Quinn keeps Beth? A story on the ups and downs Teen because it's Puck's POV
1. A good idea

**Ok so after watching many clips of my favorite shows, I changed my mind on the new glee story. I am somewhat basing this story off of Teen Mom 2 and Raising Hope. Please comment, if you like it or if you don't, or have some ideas.******

**I do not own glee at all. And this is in Puck's POV:****  
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>"Hey Noah, can we talk?" A very pregnant Quinn Fabray asked me.<p>

She never EVER used my real name unless I was in major trouble or something was horribly wrong. I started to panic, "Are you ok? Is the baby ok? The baby didn't die did it? Oh my God your not having a still birth? Are you have twins? Or triplets? Or sextuplets? My dad is dead? Emily is dead? Oh God is my Ma dead?"

"Noah!" Quinn said, "Everything is fine. I found something out yesterday and I want to tell you."

"The baby has cancer? You have cancer? My dad got hit by a car?"

"Would you let me finish?" She asked. I could her hormones were kicking in and this could go from bad to catastrophic really fast. So I shut my mouth and let her finish. "I'm having a girl."

"A-a girl?" That's what my brain came up with.

"Yes! When I found out, I called Shelby. I told her that I couldn't let her adopt the baby. She understood and wished me luck. I'm keeping her!"

My jaw hit the floor. I never thought this would happen. "Ca-can I help you raise her?"

"Yes!" I picked Quinn up and spun her around. She laughed and so did I. I guess I wasn't so much of a dick anymore. Mercedes can walking over with Kurt.

Kurt looked at me funny, "Are you ok?"

"Better then ok!" I said and nearly skipped down the hallway to math.

I heard Mercedes behind me, "What the hell is wrong with Puck?"

I walked Quinn to her car after school. "I was thinking. When the baby comes, maybe we should get our own place. I really don't think you want my mom crawling up your ass about the baby. We could get a small apartment. Nothing to big. We could make our own family."

Quinn looked at me and smiled, "I would really like that Puck. My dad left me a trust fund. I could get him to give it to me. Maybe my mom would help me."

"How much?"

"About a million." My eyes almost fell out of my head. Quinn said it like it was nothing. She looked at me, "What? I have lots of family."

"You could say that again," I mumbled.

"Do you have anything really important tomorrow?"

"No why?"

"How about we skip school and go house hunting?"

I laughed, "Is goody-two shoes Quinn Fabray suggesting we skip school? Looks like some of my badass-ness is rubbing off on you!"

"Shut it Puckerman!" Quinn rolled her eyes and we both laughed. "Come by Mercedes place later, we can go through the for sale adds tonight."

I kissed her forehead, "Deal, I'll see you later." I made sure she got down the street before heading to the field for football practice.

Pete, one of my teammates, and Finn walked over to me. Pete spoke first, "Dude what the fuck is wrong with you today? After Fabray talked to you before math, you have been acting like a faggot."

"First I'm not a fag. Second, nothing. Now walk away before I punch you in the face for using faggot," I shot back. Since joining glee club and seeing how much bull Kurt got for being gay, I stopped using some of those words.

Pete walked away grumbling. Finn smiled his stupid grin, "Your in love."

"Am not!" I protested.

"Are too!" Finn said back.

"Fine I am. After Quinn told me she is having a girl, THEN said that she was keeping her and THEN said I could help raise the baby, I realized I still have feeling for her."

Finn slapped me on my back, "Congrats dude. That girl is going to be the most evil kid on this planet."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Finn laughed, "Think about it. You are her father; you don't take crap from anyone. You are as tuff nails and you will run someone over if they get in your way. And Quinn was head Sylvester-clone since last year. She does what she wants when she wants and is able to with stand Brittany and the fact she has no brain and Santana who is a complete ass." I guess Finn was right, because he never talked like that.

"She might even take over the world some day," I said with a small laugh.

"PUCKERMAN AND HUDSON! GET YOUR ASSES MOVING!" Coach yelled at us.


	2. House hunting

**I miss Quick:/**

"Puck that one looks like it was hit by a car!" Quinn threw the newspaper back across the table at me. Mercedes laughed. We sat in living room with stacks of newspaper and laptop, house hunting. Before house hunting through the paper with Mercedes and Quinn, I ran home showered so I didn't smell like old gym sock and applied for a job at Target so we could get more money coming in.

"How about this one Quinn. I know you guys were looking for an apartment but this is a small house. Three beds, three and a half baths, a kitchen, living room and dining room. And plenty of room in the backyard," Mercedes handed Quinn the laptop. I dropped my paper and leaned over the back of the couch to see what she was talking about. It was the perfect size. The house smelled pretty clean. It would need paint and maybe some new carpet and furniture. But it had lots of running around room.

"I love it!" Quinn squealed. She looked at me.

I nodded, "It's really great. When can we go see it?"

"It says tomorrow at ten," Quinn read.

"Nosh would you like to see some furniture downstairs?" Mrs. Jones asked from behind me, nearly stopping my heart she scared me so bad. "Mr. Jones likes to change the furniture every couple of years. My son took some off to collage but we still have some downstairs."

"Sure," I said.

"The paint store should still be open, it's only six," Quinn said.

"Woah, we haven't even bought the place," I said laughing, "How about we go look downstairs, see what they have, then go tomorrow and see the house, and buy it if we like, then go pick out colors?"

"Ok!" Quinn squealed. Mercedes helped her off the couch and we went downstairs into the Jones' basement. They had lots of couches, tables, tables, lamps, and more.

I sat down on a leather recliner, "It's settled, we're taking this." Everyone laughed. We were down there for hours. They had lots of stuff. Mr. Jones came home from work and helped me move some stuff that we liked closer towards the stairs. We had a dinning room table, six chairs that went with it, a couch, a coffee table, an area rug for the living room, Mercedes' old crib, which was white, the recliner I wanted, and a rocking chair. We went upstairs and Quinn and Mercedes started making a list of other things we needed. We haven't even bought the house yet and they were already planning, which I didn't mind. Kurt came over and that's when they really started planning. It got a little crazy. Mrs. Jones ordered two pizza pies. I had three slices. Mercedes had two, Kurt had one, and Quinn ate four (she blamed it on the baby, but I didn't buy it.) Mrs. Jones let me stay the night, but I spelt on the couch. At around two am, Quinn came down the stairs and sat on the floor.

"Come hear," I whispered, opening my arms. She crawled into my arms. "I'm sorry I was a dick a couple of days ago when I asked you to stop super sizing things."

"It's ok, I forgive you," She whispered. I always loved her voice. I kissed the top of her head and she fell asleep.

"I love you Quinn," I whispered before falling asleep too. 


	3. What I think

EEEPPPP 90 minutes of glee tonight! I was like smiling like an idiot all day today! Aaaahhhh! I am done.

Ok, so I'm going to add some drama. I realized that Puck hasn't been much of a dick… this is going to skip all the way to senior year!

**I do not own glee…sadly…**

****Flashback****

"_I HATE YOU SO MUCH!" Quinn screamed at me. I really didn't think she hated me. Ok maybe she did, I mean she was giving birth and I was standing there like an idiot, not knowing what to do. She was screaming and yelling so loud, China could hear her. I just stood there as she screamed at me until her face was red. I decided to man up. I looked over the nurse's shoulder, who was helping the baby come out of…you know. Let's just say I don't want to what was going on down there ever again, I nearly passed out. _

"_You're doing great Quinn!" Mercedes said, as Quinn kept pushing._

"_She's crowning!" One of the nurses yelled. I had no clue what that meant._

"_Push!" The other nurse said, "Hardest part, the shoulders!" Quinn screamed like someone was cutting of her arms and legs. I guess that pain thing that starts with an 'e' wasn't doing much. Finally there was a loud cry. I looked down, and there covered in blood, and other stuff, all pale and crying was my baby girl. _

"_Would you like to cut the imbecile cord?" A nurse asked. I only nodded, the baby was screaming as loud as Quinn. I took the scissors and glanced at Quinn. Yes her face was red as beat, her hair was sticking up, and she was panting like she just ran the mile, but she was my hot mess. She was crying, I almost cried. The nurse handed the baby girl, who was nice and clean and not crying to Quinn. I walked over and smiled. Mercedes smiled and left the room along with the nurses._

"_Hey," Quinn whispered._

"_Hi," I whispered to the baby. _

"_Hi, Beth," Quinn smiled at me. _

**** End of Flashback****

That was eight months ago. I rolled out of bed and trudged to the kitchen. I rubbed my mohawk and got the coffee going. Quinn walked in. Since Beth was born, Quinn had not had sex with me and it was killing me. We fought more, over Beth and what was best for her. I spent most of the nights on the couch or in the guest room. Quinn was the type of mom who went nuts with the organic food. I get that she didn't want to have a baby that was sick or whatever, but it's not like we were rich. Everything was organic. She wouldn't let me eat chips or anything like that. I gave up all together trying to convince Quinn that eating healthy all the time was going to kill you one day, but she wouldn't hear it. We hadn't had pizza in God knows how long. I'm shocked she let me have coffee.

Beth started to cry, "Quinn let me get her."

"No," She nearly spat, "I got her."

That made me snap, "What the hell Quinn? I can't even hold my own daughter? What stick has been up your ass lately! I cannot take it anymore, I constantly work my ass off, I come home and you nag me about everything! You don't even talk to me in school. I get it; this kid killed all of your dreams. Listen, I am right there with you! I have dreams to you know! You never care what I think! It's all what you think is best! I can't hang with friends anymore; you won't let me eat chips! I haven't had sex for the past like thirteen months! I spend most of the nights in the guest room, ALONE. You haven't come to one of my games. What the hell happened to the old Quinn? The fun one, the loving one! You are getting to be like Santana!" I grabbed a shirt and stormed out of the house and sat in my car and started to bang my head against the wheel. Then I burst into tears. I peeled out of the drive way and to school.

The day was long. I punched two lockers and nearly ripped someone's head off. Finn came up to me after Glee, "Dude what's wrong?"

"Quinn and I fought again. Well I yelled and then stormed out. Finn she has changed some much since Beth was born. It's like she is a different person, not the girl I knocked up," I explained.

Finn looked at me, "I noticed she hasn't come to one of the games."

"Because she is scared that Beth is going to catch something. She doesn't even take her outside into the backyard! I mean we go to school with enough germs to kill a horse two times over!"

"Come on, let's go, we have a game tonight and with all that anger, you could put it to good use.

**Sooo? Review please!**


	4. football game and burnt cookies

**Kind of short I know….**

**Please review!**

As I stepped into my house, I was hit by the scent of burning cookies. I dropped all my stuff, the front door still open and ran into the kitchen. There was Quinn sending death glares to the oven. On a baking tray were lumps of charcoal looking things. I grabbed a fork and poked one, it was as hard as a hokey puck. I turned to Quinn, "Are you trying to burn the house down?"

"I was simply making cookies!" She said to me.

I smiled, "Remember what happened last time you tried baking?"

"Yeah, I called you an egg head and smashed a few eggs on your head."

I laughed, "And I did this." I took a handful of flour and threw it at her. She burst out into a fit of giggles as I picked her up and she cracked an egg on my head. I threw a handful of chocolate chips at her. We started to laugh.

"Well this is awkward," Finn said, standing in my kitchen.

"We are baking!" Quinn said laughing.

"Well I am going to shower," I said, throwing another handful of flour at Quinn, smiled at Finn and walked to the bathroom. Beth started to cry when I got out of the shower, so I threw some boxers and sweatpants on and went running into Beth's room. I picked her up, "Did someone want to see daddy?" I rocked Beth back and forth until she fell back asleep. I walked back out and Finn was gone. "What did Finn want?"

"Kurt found some nice kitchen stuff and wanted to give it to us," Quinn explained. She watered the plant.

I picked up some towels and looked at them. "Listen I'm sorry I stormed out this morning."

"No, Puck, it is my fault. I have been to hard on you. I scare the hell out of myself with all the obese stories that are about kids or all those illnesses they could get and I don't want a kid who is sick. I'm scared out of my mind that Beth will hate us one day and she will get some wired part of her body tattooed and day some guy who does drugs and she starts doing drugs," Quinn confessed.

I took her hands in mine, "I'm scared that she won't want to be our baby girl. Listen Quinn, I am just as scared as you are. We are in this together." I kissed her forehead, "I am right there with you baby girl. I am scared out of my mind."

She rapped her arms around me and I hugged her back. I could hear her start to cry, "I-I just wa-want to be a good mom."

"Babe, Beth doesn't need perfect parents, she needs parents who are there for her. She needs a dad to chase away all the douche bags and the heart breakers in her life. She needs a mom who will take her shopping and talk boys with her or maybe even girls."

"Are you saying or daughter might be gay?" Quinn asked.

I laughed, "So after all that, you get out the fact that I said guys AND girls?"

"No, I was just pointing things out!" Quinn giggled.

"Let's get to bed."

"Can we make cookies tomorrow?"

"As long as we don't burn the house down, we have a deal." Quinn took my hand and walked up the stairs.

"But that was my plan the whole time!" Quinn whined as we crawled into bed. She curled up right next to me.

"I bet it was," I mumbled and I kissed the top of her and head and fell asleep. 


	5. Sunday and Monday

Got this idea from my friend's family because they do something called prank week. It gets a little crazy…lets leave it at that.

**I do not own Glee**

I hated this week. It was Sunday night, I was sitting on my couch, waiting TV and drinking a beer. Yeah yeah I'm under 21, blah blah blah. Anyway, tomorrow was the start of prank week. Basically, the kids at school prank each other all week long. Last year, some kid that the guts to die my mo-hawk neon pink. I super glued him to his chair as a little thank you. This is the one-week people have the balls to look me in the eyes, that's why it sucks.

Quinn came into the room, "We have to talk."

She was leaving, I knew it. "Ok."

She sat down on the couch and looked at me, "Puck, I'm pregnant."

I jumped up so fast that my beer hit the floor, shattering, and making it looked like I peed my pants, "WHAT?"

"I know, I think the birth control company screwed up." She was so clam it was scary.

"But we. I. You. We. What? How? I mean. Oh my God!" I ran my hands through my mo-hawk and looked at her.

"Puck we can do this," Quinn said.

"If I step on another fucking Barbie doll, I am going to rip all their heads off!" I said.

"Well it could be a boy!" Quinn suggested.

"HOW THE HELL ARE YOU SO FUCKING CALM! IN 9 MONTHS YOU ARE GOING TO BE PUSHING A BABY OUT _**AGAIN**_!"

"Well there are other options."

"Quinn, I might be a badass, but I hate abortions." She shrugged, walked into the kitchen, I heard the fridge open and I saw her come out with a glass of wine. And Quinn NEVER drank. I looked at her.

She hugged me and whispered in my ear, "Happy prank week." And chugged the glass of wine.

"Your not…" I trailed off.

"Nope," She smiled at me and skipped into our room.

"You. Are. Dead." I said, and walked after her.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" It was six in the morning and my wake-up call. I knew my plan had worked. After Quinn fell asleep last night, I ran to the mini-mart and bought some 2-day hair-die and mixed it in with Quinn's shampoo. She came running out of the shower. It worked, her hair was brown! I looked at her with wide eyes.

"You didn't hear? Some shampoos turn her hair brown!" I sat up in bed.

"This has never happened before!" She said as she looked at herself in the mirror.

"Because it's a new bottle. Oh and FYI happy prank week!" I gave her a cheeky smile.

"YOU LITTLE!" She leaped across the room and sat on top of me. Beth came waddling into the room.

"Momma!" She cooed.

"You are dead Puck!" She said as she got off me and picked up Beth. At that moment I knew it was an all out war.

**Sooo?**

**Review please!**


	6. Happy Birthday and a little scare

Prank week was…interesting. Quinn scared the shit out of me by hiding behind a curtain in our bedroom and then jumping out when I walked it. And she got it on video…oh joy. Then I scared the hell out of her by jumping out from behind the shower curtain, she threw a shampoo bottle at me. Then she called from Mr. Schue's cell phone, pretending to be in jail for kidnapping and prostration. I ran down to the police station like a moron, she got that on video too. Even Beth got in on the pranking.

"Where's Beth?" I asked Quinn as I walked into the kitchen Friday morning.

"Sleeping," Quinn said, not looking up from her pancakes.

"No, you put her in our room. She isn't there," I said.

Quinn looked up, "Ha ha ha. Funny."

"Quinn I'm dead serious here!"

"She's missing?" Total and complete panic washed over us. We checked every place in the house she could be. After about two hours, Quinn started to lose it. We were searching the backyard.

"Mama?" Beth's little voice came from the deck, where she was standing. Quinn breathed a sigh of relief as we ran to hug her.

"Where were you?" I asked Beth.

"Hands! Hands!" Beth said, that is here way of telling us she wanted us to follow her. She walked into the house, then into the garage, and crawled into the box that the fridge came in. "See! Me play hide and seek!"

"I told you to throw that thing out!" Quinn said.

"I was getting to it."

"Can we keep?" Beth asked.

Quinn sighed, and laughed, "Sure baby."

My birthday was the next day. So that afternoon, around three, Quinn kicked me out of the house and told me to sleep over Finn's house. We played video games all night.

"Would you go to bed?" Kurt called.

"I am kicking ass!" I called. Their parents were out of town for the weekend.

"It's two am!" Kurt called back.

"Bite me!" I called back, spinning my Wii controller as I passed Finn in_ Mario Kart_.

"I consider the foreplay!" Kurt yelled.

"To bad!" I yelled.

"Mwhahahaha," Finn laughed as he knocked me off the coarse.

"What the fuck dude?" I asked, punching him friend in the shoulder.

"We are trying to sleep up here!" Blaine yelled.

We froze, "Blaine is over?" I asked Finn.

"I guess so," Finn said.

"Chill we are not having sex," Kurt said.

"Damn," Blaine said jokingly.

"Funny Blaine," Finn called.

We fell asleep two hours later. My phone rang at ten. "Hello?"

"You can come home now," Quinn's voice woke me up.

"Coming dear," I said into the phone and hit end.

"Hello?" I called as I pushed the front door open.

"In here!" Quinn called. I walked into the kitchen, I was met by Quinn, Beth, a French bulldog puppy, and a corgi puppy. "Happy birthday babe!" Quinn said, placing Beth on the floor to play with the pups. She kissed me. I put my arms on her hips and kissed her back.

"They are perfect!" I smiled.

"What do you want to name them?" Quinn asked. The French bulldog started to walk around, and ran into a wall, the backed up really fast and went flying into Beth, who was literally rolling on the floor laughing.

"The French bulldog can be Crash," I said. I watched the corgi, "Ruffles?"

"Sounds good to me!" Quinn said, "But Ruffles is mine!"

"Ok!" I smiled, picking up Crash, who licked my face.


	7. Babies, bad words, and blue paint

**As you wish Alybear! **

"Holy fuck!" I yelled as I stepped on another fucking Barbie doll. Crush was tearing a Barbie apart. I looked down at Beth, "Do not repeat that."

"Otay!" She said, and went back to playing with her dolls, and other girly crap. I plopped myself on the couch and watched 1,000 Ways to Die. Beth sat and watched. I had to change it because she kept saying boobies. And Quinn would have killed me, if she walked around the house saying that.

"Hey babe," Quinn said, walking in with some bags from Target.

"Mommy!" Beth got up and waddled off to hug Quinn's leg.

"Hey sweet pea!" Quinn coed and put the bags on the floor and picked Beth up. Beth giggled. They put the food away and Beth went to paint outside. I came out, she had gotten paint all over the place, her, the table, Ruffles, the deck, the chair.

"Holy fuck!" She said then smiled up at me.

I turned and smiled at Quinn, who was looking at me through the sliding glass door. "Beth! Bad words, we don't use those words in the house! Mommy would kill me!"

"But you used them!" Beth looked up at me. She took her blue covered hand and put in on my cheek leaving a handprint.

"Because I have a dirty mouth!" I said, I took some paint and wiped it on her nose, she giggled.

"Daddy has dirty mouth!" Beth sang, she hopped off the chair. I picked her up and walked inside.

"Wait!" Quinn took out her phone and took a picture. "Ok! How about Daddy gives you a bath?"

"Holy fuck!" Beth said. Quinn gave me death glares.

"Baby, we don't use that word," Quinn said calmly.

"Daddy said it!" Beth ratted me out.

"Because Daddy is a bad boy!" Quinn gave me another death glare.

"Can he sit in time out corner?" Beth asked.

"Sure!" Quinn said, taking Beth from me. They walked into the bathroom, and I went to sit in the corner. Both Beth and Quinn would have killed me if I didn't. Fifteen minutes later, Beth came running in.

"Daddy! Read story pleaseeeeeee!" She handed me _The Going to Bed Book. _I got up and walked into her room. Quinn was sitting on her bed. Beth hopped up, and got all cozy and I read the book to her. Within the first page, Beth was sound asleep.

Beth came waddling into the kitchen the next morning. I was standing in my boxers, Quinn in one of my shirts, and we were making breakfast.

"Mommy? Daddy? Where do babies come from?" Beth asked. We froze. Someone in Glee must have made a crack about babies the other day. There are three days a man dreads when it comes his daughter, dating, sex, PMSing, and lastly, the question about babies.

"Well, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they go to the hospital and have a baby! The stork brings them!" Quinn explained.

"Otay!" And Beth skipped off, with Crush and Ruffles following her.

"Dear Lord," I said, "You better get more detailed about that one."

"Why?"

"Because she is going to have many more questions. I can feel it."

"Good to know. We shall work on that one.

Later that day, we got the next question. Well it was more of a demand, "I want a little brother or sister." Beth, only being, 2 was very smart for her age. Maybe because she hung around Glee too much. But maybe it because she was Quinn's daughter. Who knows.

"Lamb chop, it doesn't work that way," I said to her.

"Why?" Beth asked with her wide blue eyes.

I sighed, "Because mommy and I have a special type of love. And most other mommies and daddies aren't like us."

"But Noah's mommy is having a baby. He claims his mommy at his little sister. I think he was lieing."

I laughed. "Because Noah's mommy and daddy are different from mommy and I. You are what we want right now. We will talk to the stork in the future. Deal?"

She hugged me, "Ok!" She went to play with the puppies.

"What was that about?" Quinn asked, stepping into the living room.

"Someone wants to be an older sister."

"Oh boy."

"I told her we would work on it."

"Good."


	8. The flu and the park

"I am not going!" I protested, standing at the foot of our bed. Quinn had the stomach flu, and it wasn't pretty. She had a fever, was moaning like she was dieing, and things were coming out of both ends. Ruffles was lying next to her, sleeping.

"Please!" Quinn moaned.

I knew I would never win this, "Ok fine. I will take her to play group."

"It's at the park," She groaned.

I sighed, "I will be back." I walked out to get Beth.

"Where mommy?" She asked me.

"Mommy is sick, so I'm taking you to play group," I explained, picking up the bag the Quinn bought with her to play group. I got Crash's lease and hooked it to his collar and he walked out the door with me.

"Otay!" She went waddling out to the car, "Can we make picture for momma?"

"Sure babe," I said, buckling here into her car seat. We drove down the street, and Beth asked me to turn on the radio. But what I wanted, she didn't want, so I had to listen to Lady Gaga. Beth LOVED 'Born this Way'. I didn't really like Lady Gaga, but if it kept Beth from throwing a hissy fit, I was all for it.

"Daddy? What's lebaneses?" She asked.

"Lebanese is…a country," I said, making something up.

"Can we go there some day?" She asked, flipping through a book.

"Talk to mommy," I said, pulling up the park. Everyone was already there. I had been to play group once, when Quinn dragged me to it. I took a seat on a bench and watched Beth run around with the other kids. I handed Crash a bone, which kept him busy.

"You must be Beth's dad," A tall woman with brown hair said.

"Yeah, Quinn is sick today," I said.

"Aww! I'm Ann by the way. Tell her I said hello and to get better soon!"

"Thanks, I will. And I'm Puck."

All the kids seemed to get hurt. Beth fell, and the moms literally jumped from their seats. Beth got up, dusted herself off, and kept playing. They all looked at me. And I gave Beth a thumbs up. She looked at me and smiled.

"Aren't you going to put something on her booboo?" Ann asked.

"Yeah!" Another lady piped up, I think her name was Jo, Jan, something like that, "I read that it is unhealthy to leave cuts like that."

I hated these people already, "She would have asked. If she doesn't want one, she doesn't need one." That's how Quinn and I rolled. If Beth didn't want a band-ad, she didn't need one. It was a little scratch for God's sake! Some little boy fell, just like Beth, and started to wail like he got his leg bitten off by shark, and his mom was freaking out. Beth must have sensed I was done with these weirdos because she wanted to go home. Thank God for Beth because if I had spent one more hour with these nut-jobs, I would have screamed.

"What are we going to get for mommy?" Beth asked as we drove to Target.

"What should we get her?" I asked, looking at Beth in my rear view mirror.

Beth was thinking hard and I can tell. "Paint her something!"

"How about we get neon paint?" I asked as we parked and I unbuckled her from her car seat.

She took my hand as we walked inside. "And crayons?" I loved being a dad, partly because I could buy crayons without getting weird looks. And Beth was the other part.

"And crayons."


	9. Candy

_**I do not own glee!**_

Quinn was still sick. So I was playing mommy and daddy, at the same time, which isn't easy. Beth was dieing of boredom. I was taking care of the dogs, Beth, and Quinn, only if I can clone myself. I also had to fill out collage applications. To keep Beth out of my hair, I put together a scavenger hunt.

"Come on Beth, I have something for you to do," I said one Saturday afternoon. My eyes were killing my from all the paperwork I was reading.

Beth was standing in the kitchen, watching it pour outside. Well pour wouldn't cover it. She turned to me, "Daddy, it's raining camels and sheep out there!"

I doubled over laughing, "Yes it is baby girl." I got up and stood next to her. "Camels and sheep are falling from the sky."

"What?" Quinn scared the hell out of me. She still looked like death. Well better then two days before, when I thought for sure we would have to take her to the ER. She was pale, and skinny, she had herself rapped in a blanket.

"Mommy! It's raining camels and sheep!" Beth said, jumping up and down.

"Yes it is," She gave Beth a weak smile.

"Lets get you back to bed!" I said, picking Quinn up bride style.

"Your go to get sick!" Quinn said.

Something most people don't know about my family was that we next to never got sick. The last time I was sick, was maybe about two years ago. "I'll be fine." I placed her back down in bed and kissed her forehead. She fell asleep the minute I left the room.

"Daddy can we hunt?" Beth asked, pulling at my pj bottoms.

I picked her up and grabbed the map off the counter. "Sure babes. Follow this and have fun." She took the map, kissed my cheek and I set her down and she went waddling off in search of the first thing. With Beth busy and Quinn sick, I started on lunch. It was pizza. I had watched Quinn do this a thousand times. I made 5 maps, and each led to a piece of candy. I hid them in hard places, to keep Beth as long as possible. She ran around the house, eating the candy. She even gave a piece to Quinn. The puppies were chasing her, and she was screaming with laughter. I grabbed my phone and recorded it. It would make a good home movie. It took Beth two hours for her to find all the maps, and the last on was a giant chocolate bar. I knew when she found it because all the noise stopped.

"DADDY! DADDY! DADDY! Look! Chocolate!" She said, running in the kitchen clutching the giant bar for dear life.

"How about we have some lunch and then after you can have a piece?" I asked.

"Yes!" She said, placing the bar down on the table and running to the bathroom to wash her hands.

Quinn came out, "Can I have a piece?"

"Will it stay in your stomach, because I will not be cleaning that up!" I said playfully.

"Yes it will! What was all that noise?" She sat down.

"I sent Beth on a scavenger hunt to keep her busy. I'm thinking of what to do with her tomorrow," I explained, pouring Beth some water in her sippy cup, and putting it at her place at the table. I gave Quinn a glass of ginger ale and I grabbed a beer. Beth came running back in and sat down. We ate lunch and I gave Beth a piece of chocolate.

"Well how about we go to the zoo?" Quinn asked.

"Are you up for that?"

"Yeah, I think I am ready to go out."


	10. The party

A/N: Sorry that I haven't posted in a while, but I'm working this summer. I'm a consular at a camp, and I work with preschoolers, I think you get the point.

**Happy 4****th**** of July!**

It was the famous Fabray picnic. And it was Forth of July. Quinn forced me to go to her aunt's house. Quinn was wearing a white sundress, Beth was wearing a red dress, and I was stuck in a blue bathing suit and wife beater. I was holding Beth and Quinn was holding a cake. As we walked up to the house, I noticed that the house could be big enough to be a castle. Also, everything was so clean cut. I am glad Quinn is not like that. And lastly, when the wind blew, I could see Quinn's ass. I smiled at that.

Quinn's family was rich. And they also HATED me. Quinn's aunt came running out, "Quinn darling!"

"Hi aunt Lisa," Quinn said hugging her and trying not to drop the cake at the same time.

"Why isn't you're uhh…boyfriend holding everything?" Aunt Lisa asked. That's how it works in the Fabray family; the men did all the carrying and the women made all the sandwiches. The women were house moms, and the men went to their jobs. It really bothered me. I mean really? What was this? 1950? God!

Quinn gave her aunt a fake smile, "Because that's not how it works in our house."

"That's to bad darling." Aunt Lisa was medium height. She had the blonde hair and wore too much makeup, her boobs were too big to be real, and I have seen many boobs. She scared me a bit and nothing scares Puck! "You daughter is so cute!"

"Thanks, Beth say hi!" Quinn urged.

Beth looked at me, and I stuck my tongue out at her. She giggled and buried her head in my shoulder. Aunt Lisa laughed, "Someone is shy."

"Yeah," I said, but Aunt Lisa ignored me. We walked up the steps on the dark wooden perch and into the house. There was a giant round wooden table in the center of the room with a huge vase filled with red white and blue roses. There was a marble staircase leading to the second floor. It looked like something out of _Harry Potter_, yes I read. We walked outside, and it was like a sea of blondes. Around ninety percent of the Fabray cult was blonde. Which is kind of scary. Quinn disappeared into the house to put the cake away. I set Beth down, and she held my hand. We wondered over to the bar. I took a beer, and gave Beth a can of 7 Up. Quinn's aunts sent me death glares. She wondered back.

"This sucks," I said. She took my beer and took a sip.

"I agree," Quinn said.

"Can we go home?" Beth whined.

"Soon bug!" Quinn said. "I want you to meet someone Puck." She took my arm and dragged Beth and I over to a group of guys a bit older then me.

"Quinn!" One of them said. They must have been in the army because of their haircuts. They all hugged Quinn.

"Hey guys! I missed you, but first this is Puck. And Puck these are family friends." Quinn pointed to me.

"I'm Nick," said the tall blonde. He was built like the hulk, well they all were.

"I'm Greg."

"And Josh."

"Is your name really Puck?" Nick asked.

"No. Its really Noah, but my last name is Puckerman, so I go by Puck," I explained, picking up Beth who was looking at the guys.

"Who is this?" Jon asked.

Beth smiled. "I'm Beth!"

"And who old are you, Beth?" Josh asked.

She held up two fingers, "Two!"

"You have a nice family," Jon said to Quinn.

She blushed, "Thanks Jon!"

The rest of the party wasn't so bad. Jon pushed me into the pool and I grabbed him by the shirt so he came with. The Fabray family hated me more, but I didn't give a fuck. I found out that Nick was like me, and didn't like the Fabrays, and he called them '_The Others_' like from the show _Lost_.

"That wasn't that bad was it?" Quinn asked on the ride home.

"Well your family hates me even more. But it wasn't that bad," I said.

"Well you got me pregnant."

"Hey! You had sex with me!"

"Well you got me drunk on wine coolers!"

"You drank them!" I shot back. "But do you know what came out of this?"

"What?"

"A beautiful daughter," I said. I glanced back to find Beth sound asleep.

Quinn smiled, "But your still a dick."

"Yeah, yeah, I know."

"In the good way."

"Thanks? I think…"

"Your welcome!" Quinn said. I laughed at her peppiness.


	11. more then 24 kids

"I got it!" I yelled as the doorbell rang. I hopped off my spot on the couch next to Beth, we were watching Elmo, and ran to the front door. I opened the door and there stood Quinn's crazy cousins. You must know something about her family; there is a part of the family they don't talk too. They have 24 kids. "Hi…"

"Hello!" A man wearing a light pink shirt said, "I'm Aaron, my name means mountain of strength or shining."

"I'm Puck," I said slowly.

"Puck? That is an odd name," The woman standing next to Aaron said.

"It's really Noah," I said, peaking past the couple. A whole group of kids all heights stood behind them.

Aaron smiled, "Noah, which means, peace full, long lived, comforter or wanderer."

"Uhhh. Yeah, come in." I stepped aside as the group walked up the stairs. "Quinn your uhh…family is here!" I closed the door and headed up stairs. Beth was sitting on the couch staring at the mod of blonde people.

"What?" Quinn came out of the bathroom. Her eyes went wide, "Hi!"

"We were in Lima and decided to stop by!" The woman said. She hugged Quinn.

Quinn awkwardly hugged her back, "Aunt Moriah, you should have called. You brought your kids!" See, they believed in having many kids. From what Quinn has told me, Aaron and Moriah met at sixteen and got mixed up in a cult. Well that cult is a bit crazy, every one to two years you have to have a kid. And when you turn sixteen, you have to start having kids. The guys live with the girl that they knocked up, so there were more then twenty-four kids. One girl and guy had like four kids. The dogs started to go crazy. I picked them up and put them outside so that they wouldn't get stepped up.

Aaron spoke, "Where is your daughter?"

Beth pushed her way through the people and looked at me. I picked her up, "Say hi Beth."

"Hi," Beth said.

O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O

I couldn't stand it any more! These people were nuts! They were some kind and peaceful. And they talk about having more kids! Don't get me wrong, I would love to have more kids, but I think it's to early. I mean this fourteen year old told me she couldn't wait to have kids! I was like it's not all flowers and ponies. She smiled and skipped away. Her life must be all flowers and ponies. They are happy all the time, the kids listen to every word you say. I put Beth down for a nap and lied on her floor. Quinn came in, "They are gone!"

"How did they find the house?" I asked. Quinn came over and sat next to me.

"I really don't know."

"They are effed up!"

Quinn looked at me, "Your right."

"I am?" I asked.

"Yeah," She said. I laughed and kissed her.

"I am right."

"Shut it, only this once."

"Aww man!"


	12. Beth and the boy

**So sorry for the long wait! **

I can home from football practice early that day. I quietly opened the door and slipped inside. I walked into the kitchen to find Quinn dancing to the song '_Beth_'. I smiled and set my stuff down. She spun around and smiled at me. "Hey babe."

"Hey yourself," She said.

I kissed her lips. "Whatcha doin'?" I asked.

"Making cookies!"

"Daddy!" Beth came running into the kitchen. I picked her up she kissed my cheek.

"Hey sweetie!" I said. I set Beth down and she went running off again, the dogs following her, barking. "What's for dinner?"

"I thought we would have pizza!" Quinn smiled at me.

"Really?" I asked. I couldn't wait.

….

Later that night, we sat eating pizza. Beth talked about what her and Quinn did all day. All of the sudden, she couldn't stop talking about a boy named Gabe. Beth said, "Gabe told me that the dinosaurzes died and they all went to live on another planet!"

"Gabe said that?" I asked.

"Yes! He also told me that he has a bunny named Oreo! And a puppy name Axel!" Beth said, eating a piece of pizza Quinn cut up for her. "And I told him that I have two doggies named Ruffles and Crash! And Gabe likes peanut butter and jelly! Just like me!" The whole night, Beth babbled on about Gabe. I felt like I really knew the kid after listening to Her talk about him for two hours.

Quinn came and sat next to me after she got Beth to sleep. I put my arm around her, "So our little girl has a little crush?"

Quinn laughed, "Yes, we met Gabe in play group. They played with each other the whole time. They played house and they had a daughter, named Crayon, and Beth was mommy and Gabe was daddy."

"Great. Am I going to have talk to this Gabe kid?" I asked.

Quinn laughed again, "No, but he is coming over tomorrow for a play date."

….

"I will be the mommy!" Beth said.

"And I will be the daddy!" Gabe said.

"And we can have a daughter named Bee!" Beth said happily, picking up her baby doll, and putting it in the play crib. I sat and watched them from the kitchen. I sat and talked with Gabe's dad Cole.

"So you and Quinn are teenage parents?" Cole asked.

"Yeah, and it's actually a lot of fun," I said.

"Gabe wouldn't stop talking about Beth last night. I thought my wife was going to go crazy."

"I know. For two hours last night, Beth talked about Gabe. I was going nuts."

"Gabe is normally very shy, so I'm happy he has come out of his shell."

"Beth is not very shy at all. Quinn is never shy in school, and neither am I."

Cole laughed, "It must be weird going to school and then coming home and having to raise a daughter."

"Very weird, but it's nice."

Cole looked at his watch, "Gabe, we have to go!"

"But daddy!" Gabe said, peaking his head around the corner into the kitchen, "I have to go to work!"

"Well you can pick house next time you see Beth."

"Beth say goodbye to Gabe," I said, standing up and walking into the living room. Beth was standing next to her play kitchen, putting her baby doll in it's crib.

"But we haven't had breakfast yet!" Beth whined.

I picked Beth up, "You can have breakfast next time."

"Fine!" Beth pouted as I set her down. We walked Cole and Gabe to the door.

Cole and I shook hands. "Nice meeting you," Cole said. We looked down and Beth and Gabe where hugging.

"Bye Gabe!" Beth said as they left. Beth turned to me and said, "I like Gabe."

"Your to young to like people sweety."


	13. The zoo

"Are there yet?" Beth asked from her caraway in the back seat if my pickup truck.

Quinn giggled as I sighed, "Babe, you asked me that when we stopped at the stop light, we haven't moved yet. So the answer is still no."

Beth pouted as the light turned green and I sped off. Quinn and I were taking Beth to the zoo. It was an hour away. Quinn said we should take her to the small zoo in Lima. But I fought with her. I didn't want to go to some small zoo. I wanted to go to the big ass one. It was more me then it was for Beth.

"Daddy?" Beth asked.

"Yes?" I asked, looking at her in my rear view mirror.

"Are we there yet?"

Quinn burst out laughing. After she stopped she said, "How bout we play a game?"

Beth's eyes light up, "A game! What game? Can we play?"

Quinn and I both laughed. We played eye spy for a while. That's when I knew we were close to the zoo. It was my turn, "I spy someth-"

"THE ZOOOOOOOOOO!" Beth screeched from the backseat.

I got a really good spot up front. I had to give another dad the death stair to get it. Beth was jumping up and down in her seat. I turned to Quinn, "If she wasn't belted in, she would be running into the zoo already."

"With her strength, I don't think we would ever catch her."

"Swimming with the fish." Quinn giggled.

"WELL WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?" Beth screamed. The car was shaking she was jumping up and down so fast. Quinn got Beth out of her car seat and I got the stroller and other things from the trunk. Quinn strapped Beth into the stroller. The sun was shining. I pushed the stroller up to the line for tickets.

"Beth what kind of animals are we going to see today?" Quinn asked.

Beth fought for a bit. The line moved up a bit. Beth said, "Dinosaurs!"

"Dinosaurs?" Quinn asked. I chuckled.

"And lions! And zebras! Ducks! Pigs! Bunnies!" Beth was off naming all of the animals she knows.

We finally got into the zoo. The first stop was the buffalo. Beth said they looked funny because they were very hairy. She compared them to my legs. Quinn giggled and agreed with Beth.

"You want me to shave them?" I asked as we moved on to the zebras.

"That would be awkward," Quinn said, laughing.

"Pull your mind out of the gutter, Fabray," I said.

"Mommy? What are those tigers doing?" Beth asked, pointing to the tigers. Quinn and I looked around to see what Beth was pointing at. That's when I saw it. Two tigers...uhhh...bumping uglies. I quickly turned around and headed for the fish. "What were they doing?"

Quinn looked at me as she spoke, "Wrestling."

"But daddy and uncle Finn don't wrestle like that," Beth said.

I said, "Well they were doing a different type of wrestling that you should never do."

"Ok Daddy!" Beth paused, and then said, "Do you and mommy wrestle like that?"

Quinn and I looked at each other. "Look sweetie! It's Nemo!" Quinn said pointing to a fish. Beth giggled and gave all of the fish names.

I whispered in Quinn's ear, "Maybe we should wrestle later."

Quinn punched me in the arm. "Pervert." but from the look in Quinn's eyes, I could tel she wanted me. Then she said, "Maybe we could..." I only smiled and kissed her temple.

Beth was shot by the time we left the zoo. She was fighting sleep. I minute I put her in her car seat, she was out. The ride home was quiet. Quinn's hand was holding mine.

"So...do you think you can still wrestle?" I asked.

Quinn giggled, "Well Beth is going to stay with Mercedes tomorrow night..."

"Tomorrow?"

"Yes. Is that to long for little Puck?"

"I think it's to long for big Puck too."

Quinn laughed. "We wouldn't want Beth to catch us wrestling."

"We would never EVER live it down," I said. I kissed Quinn's hand.

"I would be more worried about explaining it to her."

"I'm glad I don't have to give her the talk."

"What if I die?"

"You can die AFTER the talk."

Quinn rolled her eyes. "It's nice to know that that's all I'm needed for."

"You know more about tampons and boobs then I do."

"I hope I would know more," Quinn teased.


	14. tails'

Beth was just like Quinn; both of them always forget to knock on the door when I'm in the bathroom. I really don't care if Quinn doesn't knock, because she has seen my dick before. But Beth...

I had just gotten out of the shower, still butt naked, when I dropped Quinn's over sized pink sponge thingy. I have no idea what it does or it's name...I think it started with a 'L' anyway, I was picking it up, when the door flew open.

"DADDY! YOU HAVE A TAIL?" Beth steamed and ran to go find Quinn. "MOMMY! MOMMY! DADDY HAS A TAIL!" I quickly shut the door, and got dressed.

"I do not have a tail!" I said walking out of the bathroom. Quinn was turning red from holding her giggles in.

"Mommy? Did you know daddy had a tail?" Beth asked.

"Yes I did know," Quinn said, still holding in her laugh.

"Ok fine, you caught me...I have a tail. Now boo, listen, you can't tell anyone I have a tail ok?"

"If I do what happens?" Beth asked.

"You never get to see me again," I said.

"Daddy!" Beth through her arms around me, "I won't tell anyone!"

"let's eat dinner," Quinn said.

But of coarse Beth told Gabe who told his dad. And two nights after the tail problem, Gabe's dad called me.

"I heard you have a tail," John said, laughing lightly.

"Yes, Beth seems to forget to knock when someone is in the bathroom," I said, rubbing my Mohawk.

"Don't feel bad. Gabe walked in on my wife bending over and doesn't understand why they don't have the same parts."

I laughed, "At least I'm not alone."

...

"Daddy?" Beth asked as we walked through Target.

"Yes babe?" I asked, picking out a box of Cheerios.

"Gabe told me his mommy doesn't have a tail. Does mommy have a tail?" Beth asked.

I should right a book on all of the questions Beth asked me one day. "No mommy doesn't have a tail."

"Do I have a tail?"

"No, you don't have a tail."

"Does Gabe have a tail?"

"Yes Gabe has a tail."

"How come I don't have a tail?"

"Do you went fruit snacks?"

Beth's eyes light up. "Yes!" Food was always a good distraction with Beth. Just like it was with me. "Does your tail hurt when you sit down?"

"No."

"Does it hurt right now?"

"No." The cashier laughed when he heard all if the questions.

"How are babies made?" Beth asked.

I put some food on the belt thingy, "We went over this babe."

"The stork brings them right?"

"Yep."

"But I wanted to know how the stork makes them."

The cashier looked at me. I was stuck in a hole. The cashier, a guy a little older then me said, "It's a secret."

"Well why would it be a secret?" Beth asked.

"How would you like it if everyone wet around making your favorite toy?"

"I wouldn't like that very much!"

"The stork doesn't tell anyone how he makes babies. So that he has a job."

"Oh!" Beth's eyes went wide and she stopped asking all of her questions.

"Thanks dude," I said as I left.

"Good luck," he said back. 


	15. kicking and screaming

Beth has yet to throw a fit… I DO NOT OWN GLEE!

Quinn and I went food shopping with Beth. And she-both Quinn and Beth- did not have fun. I could tell Quinn was on her period because she was rolling her eyes at me all week. "Babe, maybe you should eat some chocolate."

"So your saying I'm to skinny?" She shot back.

I sighed, "No babe, but don't you love chocolate?"

"Yep!" And she was off looking for chocolate.

"Daddy! I want candy!" Beth whined. Beth was in her 'I want' stage. It had been a couple months since it had started. Quinn and I were really starting to lose it. Beth always used please and thank you, but it was like someone hit backspace a few to many times in her head.

"We are eating lunch soon," I said, grabbing some hamburger meat.

"I'm not hungry!" Beth whined.

"Ok," I said.

Beth stomped her foot, "I want candy!"

"I thought you weren't hungry."

"I'm not! I want candy!"

"Later."

"Now.

"Beth," I said in a warning tone.

Quinn came walking back over just in time. Beth screeched, "DDDDAAADDDDYYY!"

"What's wrong?" Quinn asked, placing a bag of chocolate in the cart.

Beth was screaming and yelling. I picked her up, put her on my shoulder, and started to walk, "She says she isn't hungry, but yet she wants candy."

"Oh." Quinn started to push the cart. Beth was pounding my back with her little fists and still screaming. People were staring.

"You pay? I'll grab the car."

"Sounds good." We went our separate ways, Beth still screaming and yelling. You would have thought people thought I was kidnapping her. And that's what they thought.

The manager of the store stopped me, "Sir, were are you going?"

"This is my daughter," I said.

"Ok sure," the manager said. I did not need this right now.

"I WANT CANDY DADDDYYY!" Beth screamed. I looked at the manger. "DADDDDYYY LET ME HAVE CANDY!"

I took Beth in my arms so the manager could see her face. "We look alike. I'm a teen dad. You got a problem with that?"

Quinn walked over, "What's going on."

"Sparky over here doesn't believe she is ours," I explained.

"Call the police!" One woman called. I rolled my eyes.

"She is ours, why would teenagers kidnap a little girl?" Quinn asked.

"Just give her some candy!" A man yelled.

"MOMMMYYY I WANT CANDY!" Beth screamed, nearly punching me in the face.

I sigh, "Before my daughter turns into a screaming tomato, can we leave?" The manager took one look at us and stepped aside. Beth was still kicking and screaming when we got home. I made a b-line to her room and put her on her bed, "Until you are done, do not move." I shut the door and sat in the kitchen. I put my head in my hands.

Quinn rubbed my back, "We're doing our best Puck."

"I know, but I feel like we are being bad parents for not giving her what she wants."

Quinn snorted a laugh, "My parents gave me anything I ever wanted, and I am a bitch. Do we want Beth to be like that?"

"No, but I feel like she does this every day."

I leaned back and pulled Quinn into my lap. Quinn looked at me, "I feel the same way." She pressed her forehead to mine. I kissed her lips softly. "Let's make some lunch."

We tried to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, put we wound up throwing spoonfuls of peanut butter at each other. Beth finally stopped her fit. After cleaning ourselves off, we went and talk to Beth. Quinn opened the door slowly, and Beth was asleep on her bed, her face was red and her cheeks were tear stained. I took off her shoes and Quinn tucked her into her bed.

"Maybe I should start screaming during classes, maybe they will let me out early," I joked as we left the room.

"Yeah, you can test that one out," Quinn said with and eye roll. I poked her in the side.

…

Beth woke a couple hours later, "Mommy? Daddy?"

Quinn and I were watching TV when Beth came out. Quinn turned off the TV and said, "Hi Beth."

"I'm sorry I started screaming," She said, wedging herself between Quinn and I.

"Why were you screaming?" Quinn asked.

"Because Liz from playgroup said it worked," Beth said. I had met this girl, Liz, once. Her mom was stuck up and so was Liz.

"Did you get what you wanted?" I asked.

"No," Beth said.

"Are you going to do that again?" Quinn asked.

"Never eber!" Beth said with a nod. I kissed the top of her head and smiled at Quinn.


	16. Wrong choice?

*******So I am going to have this story take a huge leap in time because I don't have to many ideas for the teenage parents. It's after collage. Quinn is a doctor; Puck is a tattoo artist (the job seems to fit him). As for everyone else, Rachael is on Broadway with Kurt and Blaine. Mike and Tina live in LA were Mike is a dancer and Tina is a fashion designer. Artie is a math professor at Yale. Finn is a famous football player for the New York Giants (he and Rachael are married.) Mercedes is a singer and is dating Sam who plays baseball for the Dodgers in LA. Brittany is a back up dancer for Lady Gaga. And Santana is a cheerleader for the Cowboys.***************  
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>"Rachael told me that she was going to star in her own TV show," Quinn said to me as we sat in our Upper East Side apartment.<p>

"Go figure," I said as I worked on a new tattoo for Lady Gaga. Brittany managed to convince her to get a tattoo by me. So lately that's what I've been freaking out about. Quinn and I were still dating.

Beth came flying out of her bedroom, "What should I wear to school?"

"Babe, your six, not sixteen," I said. She huffed back into her room. "She really is your daughter."

"Yeah with your personality," Quinn said with an eye roll as she looked through the mail. We had both taken the day off to be with Beth.

"I take offense to that!" I said throwing my pencil down onto the table for effect. A big white envelope peaked out from underneath some bills. "What's this?" I pulled it from under the bills. It had gold swirls on it, coming from the bottom right corner.

"Open it." I did as I was told. A whole ton of gold glitter went flying into the air. The glitter went all over the place.

"It looks like Ke$ha threw-up on our kitchen table," I said.

Quinn laughed, "That would be a first."

"What, Ke$ha throwing up?

"Noo!" Quinn started to laugh even harder, "People throwing up glitter!"

"Well I bet Ke$ha does!" I laugh too. "It's a save the date for Blaine and Kurt! They're getting married.

Quinn smiled, but in her eyes I could tell she was said because we have yet to get married, "When is the wedding?"

"May fifth," I said.

"Well we have to keep that day open, and thank Kurt and Blaine for all of the freakin' glitter." Quinn got up and tried to wipe the glitter off our kitchen table. She gave up and fell back into her seat.

"Mommmmmyyyyy!" Beth yelled as she ran out of her room.

"Yes?" Quinn asked looking at our daughter. "Sweetie that doesn't match."

"Yes it does!" Beth said.

Even I could tell that it didn't match. She was wearing sneakers with green and pink stockings, jean shorts, and a purple tank top with a yellow thingy over it. "Beth did you get dressed in the dark?"

"Don't be silly daddy, it's seven in the morning, it's light out," Beth said. Quinn snorted a laugh.

I smiled, "Well you aren't going to school dressed like that."

Beth pouted. "Why not?"

"You look like the rainbow threw up on you babe," I said.

"Do not!" Beth insisted.

"Do too," I said.

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

Quinn butted in, "Lets go get your outfit fixed." Quinn stood up and my girls left the room together.

…..

"Artie what the fuck am I going to do?" I asked him as I started to open the shop the next day.

I heard Artie click his tongue, "Get a ring!"

"But what if she doesn't like it?" I asked. Artie sighed. "Ok fine, I will look around on my lunch break."

"Why don't you call Rachael? She is really good with this stuff."

"Sounds like a plan. Thanks man." I hit the light switch and my shop sprang to life.

"Any time. Later." And the line went dead. Tom, an artist who works for me, walked in and set his stuff down.

"Hey man," I said.

"Hey Puck." Tom looked at his appointments for the day. Bell and Sammy, my other artists came in shortly after Tom, and with that they day had started. We had a lot of people today. Finally, after about five people in a row, I had a break.

"Hey Rachael," I said calling my girlfriend's best friend.

"Noah!" Rachael said in her peppy voice.

"I wanted to get a...erm...ring from Quinn," I said sheepishly.

"WHAT?" Rachael screamed into the phone. I winced and pulled it away from my ear, making sure my ear till worked. "You want to marry her?"

"Well we opened Kurt and Blaine's save the date and I could tell Quinn was sad. So I talked to Artie and he told me to go for it. I have no idea how to do this…."

"Ohhmiigodd! I will be over right away!" And the line went dead.

Tom called, "Is that Berry chick coming over?"

"Yes," I said.

"What are you up to?" Bell asked me, as if I had a bomb strapped to me chest.

"I wanna marry Quinn," I said.

Bell and Sammy jumped up and down. Sammy smiled, "Puck is in love! Aw!"

"How are you going to do it?" Tom asked.

"Beats me," I said as the shop door burst open and Rachael came running in, grabbed my wrist and ran back out again. "Did I pick the wrong person to help me?"

"Come on!" Rachael tugged me down the sidewalk of NYC. What had I gotten myself into?


	17. The Sniffles

I had a change of heart…. I know some of you might kill me but…I am going back to the teenage years! I watched some Raising Hope episodes online, and some ideas hit me. So here you go! I am very sorry for the long wait but I got a head cold and my mind was all over the place. And plus school started up again…so yeah..

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**I DO NOT OWN GLEE!**

"Daddy, what is that?" Beth asked me one afternoon. I sat filling out stuff for collage in front of the TV.

I looked up and say a naked chick running around in the forest. I grabbed the remote and quickly put Doug on, "Nothing babe."

"What were those things hanging on that lady?" Beth asked, turning to look at me.

"What things?"

"Those long thingies that were bouncing all over the place."

"Beth I didn't see anything." She pouted and watched TV. I went back to filling out papers. Suddenly I heard a sniffle come from Beth, then a sneeze, then I saw her wipe her nose on her hand and another sniffle came from my baby girl. It was a cold. Why did Quinn have to pick this weekend to be a girls weekend with Mercedes and Kurt?

"Daddy?" She asked.

"Yes?"

"I don't feel so good," She said, getting up and sitting on the couch next to me and curling up.

I pulled her closer, "What's wrong boo?"

"My nose keeps running!"

"Better go catch it!" I said. She just looked up at me. I sighed, "Ok, be right back!"

I practically ran to the phone and dialed Beth's friend Mary's number. "Hello?" Her mom asked.

"Hi it's Noah Puckerman, Beth's dad," I said. Mary's mom, Nicole, told me to call her if I eve need anything.

"Oh Noah! Hi what can I do for you?"

"Beth seems to have the sniffles," I explained.

"Ah, the sniffles. Ok so give her a half a teaspoon of cold medicine, I know Quinn always keeps it in the kitchen, and just keep an eye on her."

"Thank you so much Nicole!"

"No problem Noah, call me if you need anything else. Bye."

"Bye." I went into the kitchen and found the medicine and the teaspoon. I walked back into the living room and Beth was fast asleep on the couch.

"Beth, babe, how about we take some medicine and you might feel better?" I said softly. Beth sleepily opened her eyes and took the medicine and went right back to sleep. I put the medicine back and carried Beth to her bed. I tucked her in and closed the door.

Then I called Quinn, "Hey Q, it's Puck, just letting you know Beth has the sniffles. Just wanted to let you know. Don't come running home, I gave her some medicine and she fell asleep. Love you. Bye."

The slamming of the door woke me. I sat up and rub the sleep out of my eyes. I saw Quinn running into Beth's room. I slowly got up and crossed the room. "Babe what's going on?"

Quinn spun around, "Beth is sick!"

"Quinn, it's the sniffles, not cancer."

"What if she gets cancer?"

"I may not be that smart, but I don't think you can get cancer from the sniffles."

"Says who?"

"Oh never mind." I walked back out of the room and into the kitchen to make coffee. Quinn came in right behind me. "Q, she's going to be fine."

"I know, I know."

I smiled, "You think your going to go nuts, you should have seen me. I was freaking out."

"Oh of course. What happened to the smooth Puck?" Quinn smiled.

"He was replaced by the nuts Puck." Quinn rapped her arms around my neck and kissed me softly.

"EW!" Beth's voice came front them entrance to the kitchen. She ran away with the dogs at her heels. Quinn and I laughed. I went chasing after my daughter. The dogs were barking away. I scooped Beth up and brought her back to the kitchen. She was laughing so hard that she was screeching. Quinn and I laughed ever harder.

"Feeling better baby?" Quinn asked, kissing Beth's forehead.

"Yes!" Beth said, "Can we go to the park?"

Quinn and I started to laugh again.


	18. My Enemy

_**Ok so because I feel like people were upset with the fact that I switched to the teen years, I am currently working on a spin off of the future. Not sure when it's coming out because I want to write a few chapters before I put it up. **_

_**Ideas for both stories are welcome!**_

"Babe?" I called as I walked into the living room.

"At the door!" Quinn called back. I walked to the front door, and standing there was a guy I hated more then Karofsky. Steve Loman. Now, you must know that Steve stole many girls from me in middle school. He was four years older me, and was held back many times. So all of the girls liked the idea of dating an older guy. But I had game, good game at that. And there was Steve Loman, all grown up, in a fancy suit and tie, with an expensive car parked in front of my house, and expensive shoes, and a hair cut the probably cost more then our shopping bills.

"Steve!" I said, trying to hide the hate for this man.

"Noah! I see you haven't changed a bit!" Steve said shaking my hand. I gave him a stiff nod.

"What are you doing in tiny Lima?" I asked. Quinn let the enemy into the house. Great, now we would have to burn everything.

Steve smiled at Quinn in a way that wanted me to take him and his fancy suit and throw them both out the door. "Well, my mother asked my wife and I to come for a visit. I was doing some business and heard from an old friend that you live here now!"

I put on a fake smile, "Yep, me, my girlfriend, and my daughter." I put my arm around Quinn and pulled her close to me.

"Would you like some water or beer or soda?" Quinn offered.

"A glass of water would be great!" Steve said. Quinn smiled sweetly and walked off to the kitchen. I was so glad Beth was with Mercedes and Tina for the day. "So what have you been up to lately?"

"Raising a child, having a girlfriend, college stuff."

Quinn returned with the glass of water and offered Steve if he would like to sit. And he agreed and sat on the couch. Another thing we are going to have to burn.

"My wife and I have decided to move back into town, and would like to know if you are your family would like to come over for dinner?"

Quinn smiled, "That would be great! When should we come?"

"How about Saturday night? Say at around six?"

"That would be great! Anything we should bring?"

"Dessert." My Saturday night got a whole worse.

…

Quinn spent all Saturday baking an apple pie, since it was fall and all (that's what Quinn told me). Anyway, it smelt so good in the house. I stood over the freshly baked pie, with my mouth watering. I went to pull out an apple slice from under the crust, but Quinn was like a ninja of something and whacked my hand so hard with a wooden spoon I yelped like a dog that had just been stepped on. "Do. Not. Touch." She told me. I stayed clear of the kitchen for the rest of the afternoon. At around four-thirty clean showered, bathed Beth, forced me into the shower by whacking my ass playfully with the spoon, got herself dressed, picked out clothes for me-I wanted to go in my birthday suit, but Quinn gave me the death glare- got Beth dressed, did her hair and makeup and we were all in the car by five fifty...pie and all.

"Must we do this?" I asked as we pulled up to a house that looked like were Quinn used to live. Big pillars, big windows, a white picket fence, nice flowers, and the whole nine yards. I wanted to shoot myself. We walked up to the red front door-red? really?- and rang the doorbell.

The door flew open and there stood Steve in a pink button down shirt and kaki pants, "Hi! Come on in! Paris is in the kitchen, finishing up dinner." Paris…where did I know that name from?

"We brought dessert!" Quinn said with her best white rich girl smile, I wanted to throw up. Beth smiled up at Steve.

"And who are you?" Steve asked Beth.

"BETH!" She said loudly with a big smile.

"She takes after you Noah!" Steve smiled.

"Steven! Offer our guests a drink!" Came Paris' voice from the kitchen. I heard heels clicking and then I saw her. It was Paris Mulberry, the first girl I have ever had sex with. I almost passed out on the spot. Paris and I had sex more times then I could to. She still had the same body, same bright blond hair, and same piercing blue eyes. I was praying she wouldn't remember me.

"Well, as my wife has ordered, would you like something to drink?" Steve asked.

"Water would be fine," Quinn said with a nod.

"Juice!" Beth demanded.

"Beth say please," Quinn said. Shoot me now, shoot me now!

"Please!" Beth said.

"Water for…" Paris asked.

"Quinn! And this is Beth, and my boyfriend Noah." She was using my real name. I was not going to make it through the night.

"Can I have whiskey on the rocks?" I asked.

"Sure!" Paris said with a smile. "Beth what kind of juice would you like? We have apple, orange, grape."

"Apple juice please," Beth said. I was shocked that Steve didn't say anything about me being under age. Paris and Quinn walked into the kitchen chatting away. Beth followed them.

"So you married Paris?" I asked as we walked into the living room.

"Yes, she's a keeper. What about you and Quinn?"

"Oh we are dating, well I wouldn't call it dating because we don't go out that much because of Beth." Steve nodded. I could hear Beth giggle from the kitchen. It was so awkward. I peaked into the kitchen to see what Beth and Quinn were up too. I guess Steve thought that I was staring at his wife's ass- when in fact I was starring at Quinn's ass- and he went all ape shit on me. I just looked at him. He hadn't changed a bit.

Throughout dinner, Paris and Quinn laughed and talked. Beth was having a blast. I on he other hand wanted to stab my eyes out with my fingers. Steve stared me down the whole time as if he was going to jump across the table and strangle me if I looked at his wife. Quinn's apple pie was to die for. We all sat around in the living room after dinner. Beth was running around the couch. When she wasn't looking. I scooped her up. She was giggling and kicking. "Daddy! Put me down!" I put her down and she ran a couple of laps more and I grabbed her again.

Finally our little dinner party was over. Paris gave me a hug and whispered, "Hold on to her, your very lucky Noah." I nodded and tanked her. Steve just sent me daggers. We shook hands firmly. I just pretended I had no idea that he hated me.

"I like Paris and Steve," Quinn said as we got into the car.

"I like Paris, not Steve though, he sent me daggers," I said.

"I noticed that. Why?"

I shrugged and looked at my girlfriend, "Because his wife is a slut unlike you."

"Thanks…I think..."

Beth mumbled from the back seat, "I. Like…sugar….."

"Last time we let her have all of that sugar. Agreed?"

"Agreed!" I said with a smile


	19. Kicking and soccer balls

**Sorry for the long wait I had writers block!**

OMG I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW THEY ENDED LAST WEEK'S EPISODE! WITH Puck AND …. NOT GIVING ANYTHING AWAY!

"You want to put Beth on a soccer team?" Quinn asked me Friday morning as we were heading out watching Beth run around like the Tasmanian devil.

"I mean think about it," I paused to sip my coffee, "She needs a way to burn off all the energy! Then maybe she could get a soccer scholarship and-"

Quinn interrupted me, "How much have you thought about this?"

"A lot."

"I can tell." Quinn sighed and thought for a bit, "Ok fine, as long as you can take her because I have yoga on Saturday mornings."

"Your going to miss your baby girl's try outs?"

"I need yoga to keep me sane. Between you and Beth and the dogs, you all drive me nuts!"

"But you love it," I said as Beth ran by for like the fifth time.

Quinn kissed my cheek and left the room. She turned and poked her head in, "You better teach her how to lay soccer!"

"Yes ma'am!" I said, "Come on Beth, we are going to the sports store!"

"SHOPPING!" Beth screamed and ran to put her shoes and coat on.

"Good luck!" Quinn called to me as I took the over hipper Beth with me.

QPQPQPQPQPQPQPQP

"I want pink!" Beth said looking at the soccer cleats.

"Fine," I said. We tried them on, they were the last pair, and they fit. It had to be a sign from the soccer Gods. We walked to the cashier with every soccer thing that was needed.

"I can't wait to run around!" Beth said, darting around the cart.

"Babe, please be careful, mommy would be very mad if you got hurt." Beth stopped and looked at me, she kept running. She was so much like Quinn it was scary.

"I wanna put to the stuff on the black thingy!" Beth said. I sighed and handed her the things from the cart and she put them on. "Daddy?"

"Yes Beth?"

"Do you know anything bout soccer? I thought you a football player!"

"I played soccer as a kid."

"Ooooooohhhhh." The cashier laughed lightly.

We paid and left. Beth was so excited to learn to play soccer, and frankly I couldn't wait to teach her.

QPQPQPQPQPQPQPQ

At home, Quinn helped me unload the net, three soccer balls, and the other stuff Beth needed. Quinn took Beth outside to set up the nets and put her cleats on. In the mean time I put on a cup…just incase Beth had horrible aim…or really good aim; I was not going to take any risks.

"Ready babe?" I asked as I walked outside Beth hopped of the seat and ran down the stairs of the deck. Quinn stayed were she was, I guess she didn't want to risk anything either.

"Yep!" Beth chirped.

I set the ball down in front of Beth, "Ok babe, kick that ball into that net." Within seconds, the ball was flying in the air, and it went straight into the net. I was kind of shocked. I thought this was going to be a lot harder then it seemed.

"Like that Daddy?" Beth asked.

"Good job girly!" Quinn said from the safety of the deck.

"Just like that!" I said. Within the hour, I had Beth running back and forth stealing and kicking the ball. She would stop and grab a drink of water, and then want to keep playing. Meanwhile I was hunched over trying to catch my breath.

"It's ok daddy," Beth patted my back, "Me and mommy know your getting old." Quinn snorted.

QPQPQPQPQPQPQPQ

On Saturday morning, I watched Beth run across the field, leading the group of kids. She would steal the ball and kick into the goal. She was kicking ass. Afterwards, the coach came over to me.

"Coach Ball," said the woman. She had to be at least 25.

"Noah Puckerman," I said, shaking her hand.

"Is Beth yours?" the coach asked.

"Yes," I said.

"She is really good. Where did she learn?"

"I taught her a couple of days ago. She was running around the house like a nut, and thought why not try soccer, and she picked it up like a natural."

"Good! Beth sweetie come over here! Call me Lilly," Lilly said.

"Yes coach?" She asked.

"Would you like to play soccer?" Lilly asked her.

"YES!" Beth said.

"If its ok with mommy and daddy, you can me on the team."

"PLEASE DADDY? I KNOW MOMMY WILL SAY YES IF YOU SAY YES! PLEEEASE!"

I sighed; I knew the suspense was killing Beth, "Ok."

"YES! THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!" Beth screamed.


	20. Bubbie

**So hey guys 2 in one day!**

**I'm not trying to make fun of old people in this one….**

**Please R&R! And also tell me if I should keep Bubbie or put her in a home. **

"What do you mean your grandma is coming to live with us?" Quinn asked me Sunday morning.

"Yeah I know I have the same reaction my mom told me. Quinn let her stay here. You may really like her." I really hope had Quinn convinced. I can see my grandma in years but from what my mom told me she was still the same. I didn't get why my mom wanted my grandma to come live with us. Maybe it was because we were young we could keep up with her? I really wasn't sure.

"When is she coming to live with us?"

"Today?" I knew Quinn was going to kill me. I braced myself for the explosion.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN TODAY?" Quinn boomed.

I put my hands up in defense, "Quinn just hear me out. I got a call last night. What was I supposed to tell my mom? "

"Well you should've told her we think about!"

"Please just let her stay?"

Quinn sighed loudly I knew she was mad. "Okay fine."

"Thank you so much!" I kissed her on the cheek.

QPQPQPQPQPQPQPQP

Sure enough of as my mom told me the doorbell rang at six o'clock three hours after we had the conversation. I can tell you Quinn was a little bit pissed off but I think she'd get over it. I open the door and there stood my mother and my grandma.

"Hey mom, hey grandma!" I said taking my grandma's bags for my mom.

"Hi Noah!" My mother said and kissed my cheek, "Goodbye mom talk you later. Noah call me if you need anything."

"Come on in grandma." I turned around and Beth was standing at the top of the stairs next to Quinn.

"Oh Harold you haven't changed one bit!" My grandma said. I was really confused.

"Who is Harold?" Quinn asked me.

"I don't know," I said back. My grandma walked and looked at me and smiled. She walked up the stairs past Beth and Quinn. After we got my grandma settled, I called my mom.

"Whose Harold?" is how I started to conversation.

"Harold?" my mom asked.

"Yes, Harold, bubbie called me Harold today, I was so confused!"

"Oh, well Harold is her dead husband."

"So how come she is calling _me_ Harold?" I asked, still confused.

"Noah, she lives in her own world. Some time she thinks that she is back in World War II or sometimes she thinks that you a zombie coming to eat her head off."

"SO YOU SEND HER OVER HERE?" I screamed. Quinn looked at me.

My mom sighed; she was annoyed, "Do not yell at me Noah Puckerman!"

"Ma, are you crazy? I have a girlfriend, a daughter and two dogs in the house, and you send my crazy grandma over here?"

"She doesn't like your sister."

"So make her like Sarah!" I said,

"She's not a dog Noah." I glanced over at my grandma who was looking at the dog bowls.

"Wanna bet?" I asked.

"Just, I don't know. I didn't want to put her in a home!"

"Ok fine, whatever mom, do you think I could get her some care when we are all out of the house?" I asked, "Because I don't want to leave her alone."

"That's your choice Noah, she's under your roof now."

"Yes but she's _your_ mother."

"Yes but she's your grandmother," my mom shot back. I rolled my eyes. "And besides, you were a boy scout."

"How does that relate to anything?"

"Just, do what you think is right, I'll talk to you late boy scout." And my mom hung up. Great to know I have her help.

"You were a boy scout?" Quinn asked me.

"Yeah I was. Come on bubbie, how about you go watch some TV?"

"I think we should go sit outside and watch for German planes!" my bubbie said.

"Go crazy!" I said. She saluted me and walked out the back door.

"She's nuts, I hope you realize that," Quinn said to me as soon as the door shut.

"Yeah I know." I walked into the living room and through myself onto the couch.

"Daddy?" Beth asked, crawling onto the cushion next to me.

"Yep?"

"Why is bubbie so nuts?"

"Because she's a Puckerman."

"Oh." I smiled and kissed Beth on the top of her head. I looked out the back door and there was my bubbie, lying on the floor of the deck, looking up into the sky with bionoculars.

"GERMAN PLANE!" She screamed. Quinn looked out the door and up into the sky.

"That's a bird bubbie," I heard Quinn say and a snorted a laugh.


	21. What Beth Says

**Ok so this story is slowly coming to an end. BUT I am going to make it lead into the grownup version of Puck and Quinn. I would love it if you guys could send me ideas/ a name. I have the first chapter written, but I have to make a few changes. So it should be up soon…**

**And I didn't put bubbie in this one, but maybe she will come back.**

**I DO NOT OWN GLEE!**

"I eat ocean!" Beth said loudly.

"What?" Artie whispered to me.

"I have yet to learn the new language of Beth, it tends to change from day to day," I explained, "What ocean hunny?"

"This!" She chugged her juice box and looked at me.

"Oh so your juice is the ocean?" I asked.

She collected her garbage and threw it out, "Yep!"

"You should really start writing what she says down! You could make millions!" Artie said.

"You should start writing what Brittany says down," Finn said from the couch in the living room.

"This is true," Artie said, wheeling himself into the living room.

"What else has Beth told you that makes no sense?" Finn asked me as I handed him and Artie cans of soda.

I sat on the chair next to the couch, "Well the other night she woke us up and said that she had a peanut butter nightmare."

"And that would be?" Finn asked.

"She told me she was trapped in a peanut butter jar," I said with a shrug. "Then when she came home for preschool she said that she hit her face on an airport and some kid bit her feelings."

"She's turning into a mini Brittany!" Santana said as her and Quinn walked into the house.

Beth came flying down the hallway and jumped right into Santana's arms. She said, "Guess what! I drank the ocean!"

"Well that is just…great Beth," Quinn said slowly, Santana put her down and she went running back down the hallway.

"You're feeding your daughter the ocean now?" Santana asked me.

"Ha ha ha. No her juice box was blue, so I guess that's what she meant by the ocean," I said.

"Puck was just telling us some things Beth has said to them," Artie explained.

"What about the one with the raccoon?" Quinn said as she walked into the kitchen.

"Raccoons?" Santana asked.

"Yes raccoons," Quinn said.

Before we could explain, Beth ran out of her room and said, "See, I love all raccoons!" She grabbed her baby doll and went back into her room.

"Are you sure this isn't Brittany's child?" Finn asked.

Jokingly I said, "I think we should get her tested."

Quinn agreed, "Maybe."

…

That night we had Artie, Finn and Santana stay for dinner. And Beth would not stop talking. "At the candy house after our shot, there was mermaids all over the bathroom. Even a tiger mermaid! And then I say a bird and it was fighting babies!"

"How interesting," Finn said. We all laughed.

"What else was in your dream babe?" I asked Beth.

"Well," She said, wiping her face with her napkin, "Well I was Scarlet Macaw."

"Oh," Santana said. We never really understood what Beth said. I gave up trying to understand.

"Oh! Do you know daddy has a tail?" Beth asked.

Everyone looked at me. I turned to Beth, "I told you it was our little secret!"

Beth looked at me, "NOW I WON'T GET TO SEE YOU AGAIN!"

Everyone was trying to hold his or her laughs in. "You told Gabe didn't you?"

"Yeah," Beth said.

"And I'm still here aren't I?"

"Oh thank God daddy!" Beth said putting her hand to her heart like Quinn does when I scare the crap out of her. This time we all burst out laughing.

Quinn stood up, "I think it's time for bed!" She picked up Beth and disappeared into her room.

"That," Santana said wiping her tears from her eyes, "Was the single most funniest thing I have seen in a very long time. Did she pick that up from Quinn?"

"Yep," I said.

…..

I took everyone's advice and started writing down what Beth said. Like one day we were in the supermarket, and I was picking up those little boxes of raisins and with a completely straight face, Beth turned to me and said, "Raisins are psychotic!" Or we were walking in the park and Beth told Rachael and Finn that she would forever be a duck.

But the funniest things were said when she was with Brittany. Brittany and Santana were over our house one day. Santana and I stood watching Beth and Brittany play Barbies. Brittany said to Beth, "I'm pretty sure my cat has been reading my diary."

Beth gasped, "You should talk to him about it!"

"I try but he just tells me no!"

"So just try and catch him in the act! Like I always try and catch mommy and daddy in the act of ordering a baby from the stork." Santana snorted and I choked on my soda.

Santana whispered in my ear, "Please tell me you guys have sex when she's not home."

"We do don't worry," I said.

"Good," Santana said.

"You know I dream in bacon!" Brittany said.

Beth put her Barbie on the horse and made it gallop in a circle. "I had a dream I was stuck inside my puppy, it's very dark in there." I quickly wrote that one down.

Brittany changed her doll into a swimsuit and said, "Let's swim to an unknown island."

"She has to be Brittany's child," I said to Santana.

"Let's hope she isn't like Brittany when she gets older," Santana said.


	22. Rings

**Last chapter. But it's tying into the grownup version. Please review. Next story should be up by the en of the week.**  
><strong>I DO NOT OWN GLEE<strong>****

It had been a month since Beth started playing soccer and she was kicking butt! She had scored four goals in her last game.

I was driving Beth home from preschool. "So how was your day Beth?"

"I'm glad you asked daddy!" Beth said. She was getting more like Quinn by the hour and it was scaring the hell out of me. "We colored and Emily ate a crayon! She just took one big bite out of it. I was sitting next to her."

"You know we don't eat crayons right?" I interrupted.

"I'm not a silly goose daddy, I know. Then we had story time and Ms. Pez read us a story about sharing."

"Do you share in school?"

"Daddy!" She yelled at me, "Stop budding in! Anyway, we had a cookie during snack time. Then we took naps and then we played house! Well me and Stella and Gabe did. And we sang a song about how daddy bigfoot got dead! And I called bubbie on my phone!"

"Sounds like you had a fun day," I said pulling into our driveway. I was trying to figure out who daddy bigfoot was. Maybe a new kind of spider. "What's a daddy bigfoot?"

Beth looked at me, "A spider daddy!"

"Very cool."

"I don't like spiders because they are hairy and have like a million gazillion eyes!"

"They have eight eyes."

"Close enough. Oh Ms. Pez put a note in my backpack for you and mommy," Beth said. I unbuckled her and she went running into the house. I grabbed her backpack and went digging around for the note.

"Hey babe," Quinn said as she flew by me with a basket full if clean clothes, "Can you help me fold these?" I nodded and followed her to the couch. "What's that?"

"A note from Beth's teacher. She wants me or you to come in and read to the class," I said.

"When?"

"Two weeks from now." Quinn and I started to fold the laundry. I picked up one of Quinn's thongs and waved it around.

"Put that done!" She said to me in a fit of giggles.

"How the hell do you wear this thong? It's like a sling shot!" I said, making Quinn laugh even harder. She finally grabbed it out of my hand and folded it.

"You are the worst you know that?"

"So then why do you keep me around?" I asked.

Quinn looked at me, "Because your good at holding things!"

"Oh so I'm you pack mule now?"

"Yep!" The house got really quiet. Crash and Ruffles came running from the den covered in red and blue glitter.

Quinn and I looked at each other and followed the trail of goiter down stairs. In the middle of the den was Beth covered from head to toe it glitter. She was sitting in glitter. It was everywhere. "What? How?"

"I wanted to be like Ke$ha!" Beth said.

"Ke$ha?" Quinn asked.

"Yes! Auntie Santana says that Ke$ha loves parkles! And I do to so I wanted to be like her," Beth explained.

"Oh dear," Quinn said.

... 

It took a half of bottle of shampoo to get all the glitter out of Beth's hair. And another half to get it out of the dogs. Quinn managed to clean the dogs and Beth all at ice while I cleaned up the sparkles.

I always hated sparkles. As I was cleaning up, I stepped on the bottom of my sending me right into the pile of glitter I had just swept up. I lie on my back looking up at the ceiling as the glitter fell all over the floor and I. "I fucking hate glitter."

Quinn couldn't keep a straight face during dinner because I had glitter in my Mohawk. "What happened the glitter monster throw up on you?"

"Ha!" I said, "Very funny."

"There's a glitter monster?" Beth asked.

Quinn smiled, "No babe, daddy looks like a glitter monster!"

"Ahhh!" Beth said running from the table, "Monster!"

I jumped up and ran after her, "I'm going to get you!"

After Quinn out Beth down, she came into our room and fell onto the bed.

"You know," she said, "The glitter makes you look manly."

I glanced up at her, "And you would look super sexy in a straight jacket."

"You know it," she said with a smirk. "What are we going to do for thanksgiving?"

"I have no clue," I said.

"You know what couch Sylvester told me once? She said, 'I plan on hunting my own Thanksgiving turkey this year. If I can't find one I'll be happy to carve the Thanksgiving squirrel again.' How horrible is that?"

"Would you expect any less from her?"

"Nope."

"Then there you go!"

"I wonder what squirrel tastes like..." Quinn said trailing off into her thoughts.

"Like chicken," I said with a shrug. Quinn looked at me with wide eyes. I laughed, 'I'm kidding, I have never had squirrel before!"

"Oh thank god because that would be gross on so many levels!"

"But I do wonder what it would taste like too!"

She crawled closer to me and I closed the Internet window and continued my Tetris game. She kissed me goodnight and snuggled up to me. Once I knew she was dead to the world, I re-opened the window on engagement rings.


End file.
